Suggestions for Sharing Check List
□ Start with the Serenity Prayer and the RCA Safety Guidelines
□ Did you share your answer to each question with your partner by reading the question, then reading your answer exactly as it is written?
□ Did you refrain from giving your partner any feedback regarding the content of his or her answer? If you didn’t understand the answer, did you say, “Can you clarify your answer, I didn’t understand it”?
□ If you found considerable misunderstanding, did you use a mirroring technique to be sure you were truly communicating?
□ Did you remember that under no circumstances are the answers — that either one of you gives — open for debate? Did you each write and share what was specifically your reality while the other listened carefully and non-judgmentally?
□ Did you remember your perception of an answer for each question may be entirely different than your partner’s and that is okay? Did you accept your partner’s perception as his or her reality — neither right nor wrong, good nor bad?
□ Did you remember that it is okay for you or your partner to cry, feel pain, love, anger, joy,
or any other emotion? Did you remember that it is not okay to judge your partner’s answers or to berate or try to change his or her ideas, opinions, or feelings?
□ At the completion of this session, did you thank your partner for sharing openly and honestly and for letting you do the same? A hug is also a nice way to put closure on a sharing meeting.
* Once the Step is done, do not rehash it. It is complete and finished. Above all never, never, never use anything your partner shares during the Steps as a weapon during an argument. Remember, what your partner shares is the way he or she sees the relationship and the world. You may accept and respect his or her viewpoint and still not agree with it.